Prayer for Nonexistence (Vehement pt. 2)

from by Age of Endarkenment

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This is a song that became a spiritual sequel to ‘Vehement’ from the first Whore album. Like many songs on that album, I loved the lyrics I wrote but grew to despise the music itself. Vehement in particular stands out because it has this heavy theme of waiting for death to come with a final prayer of ‘To Lilith we pray, deliver us from existence’ chanted over and over again. Lilith is a wonderful little bump in biblical history. You know how the first two people on earth are supposed to be Adam and Eve? Not necessarily so: Lilith was Adam’s first wife. And oh, what a doozie she was! Rather than being created from a piece of Adam, Lilith was created as her own creature. As such, she had her own mind and spirit and didn’t obey the will of Adam (noticing a theme of subservience by women in the Bible yet?) Because of this, she was banished from the Garden and eventually married to Samael, the destroyer. Potent stuff! I really identify with her as a dominant feminine spirit so to me, the highlight of that whole album was this invocation. Live, it was supposed to be great: The guitars fade off, and we fold our hands as we initiate the prayer. The projector flashed images of Lilith (breaking the motif of the rest of the show of using public domain horror movies) as the great climax occurred and this prayer is shouted. If I believed in magic, this would have been my grand ritual to the Goddess herself. In this song, the death of the species is a precursor to a nihilistic romance based on destruction.


Prayers to Lilith go unanswered,
So tonight I pray to myself:

I wish the sun would stop,
Maybe then we could find solace.
As the days come to an end,
I'd spend the night holding your hand.
As the cold consumes the earth,
Eternity enters the soul.
The planet an infinite graveyard,
I'd be so happy there with you.

Fade into the night,
The dark will keep us safe.
If only we weren't real,
I'd be imaginary with you.

So sick of the waiting,
Let's cease to exist now.
In unreality we'd be together,
A fire encased in ice.
Such endless eyes...
I'd happily drown in you.
I'd let my soul fade,
For a minute alone with you.

My thoughts are feeling numb,
Nihilistic fantasies.
The lepers learned to love,
The twilight their reality.
Voices telling lies inside,
The dust will never settle.
The moment of decay,
And the candle bursts into flames.

Succumb to the dreams of being dead,
As long as it's with you.


from Pink Noise, released March 11, 2016



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Age of Endarkenment Harker Heights, Texas

So why the name change? Whore was a moniker that was autobiographical, but it was descriptive of a different me. So what's left for the old Whore? Bitter resentment toward the species. Loathing. A fascination with the way deities come and go throughout history. Now that the Enlightenment is over, a new age has arrive; an Age of Endarkenment. ... more

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